Movie Review: Clueless (1995)

"Clueless." A title that evokes images of pastel pleated skirts, beeper alerts, and enough hairspray to launch a small rocket. But let me tell you, the movie itself is about as clueless as Cher Horowitz navigating a history exam.

Don't get me wrong, there's a certain charm to this 90s teen comedy. The clothes and hairstyles are outrageously on point at times, the slang is valiant in its attempt to be hip ("As if!"), and Paul Rudd, well, Paul Rudd is always a delight (bless his eternally youthful face).

But here's the thing: the plot itself is about as deep as a kiddie pool. Throughout the entire movie, I found myself, much like Cher pondering the woes of her cluelessness, equally clueless about the actual point. Is it a social commentary on the vapid lives of Beverly Hills teens? A love story disguised in a makeover montage? A cautionary tale of the perils of bad report cards?

Honestly, it's all a bit hazy. Cher, our protagonist, undergoes minimal character development. Sure, she learns the importance of helping others (because, you know, falling in love changes you and all), but for the most part, she remains delightfully self-absorbed, flitting from designer outfit to designer outfit like a beautiful butterfly with a credit card glued to its proboscis.

Speaking of butterflies, did this movie single-handedly launch the career of "All By Myself?" Every time it blared, I half expected Cher to burst into a dramatic tearful monologue about the existential dread of being, well, clueless.

Look, "Clueless" isn't a bad movie. It's a fun popcorn flick, a nostalgia trip for those who lived through the era of dial-up and butterfly clips. But a chick flick classic? As if! It lacks the depth, the emotional resonance, the "oh-my-god-I-can-so-relate-to-that" moments that truly define the genre.

So, if you're looking for a movie that will challenge you intellectually or leave you pondering the complexities of life, this might not be it. But hey, if you want to see Paul Rudd looking charmingly out-of-place in a teen movie, well, then "Clueless" might just be your perfect match. Just don't expect to have any clarity at the end of the movie because, well, you'll be clueless with where the plotline actually leads to.